Those crazy Canucks

Look carefully at the picture. Do you see Rush’s Geddy Lee? Do you see his amplifiers? Ha – gotcha!

Turns out Geddy stopped using live amps. and now runs his bass direct with the house speakers/monitors. He opted to fill the big hole on his side of the stage with industrial grade appliances. Early on, he used Laundromat washing machines. For their current tour, Lee is using rotisserie chicken cabinets as balance. During their show, a roadie periodically comes out to baste the chickens inside. Always willing to see a joke to its end, Lee even has the cabs mic'd as if they were providing his sound.

As for guitarist Alex Lifeson . . . roadies tease him with an assortment of dolls strapped to his pedal board, each holding post it notes with messages like: “I was conceived at a Rush concert,” “My grandpa says you’re cool,” and “I thought ZZ Top had beards.”

For Whom The Bell Casts

Local rockers Bellcaster have called it a day...apparently to devote more time to playing racquetball.

It's good to be The King?

Fred Norris is a bully . . . after 13 years it’s got to be said. In 1995, Champaign’s Hum appeared live on The Howard Stern Show; after Stern was heard gushing over their single “Stars.” Until recently, the broadcast has been mostly unavailable and fans only had Stern’s recollection to go by, which, surprisingly, has not been flattering. About once a year, Norris, Stern’s longtime sound effects guy and aspiring musician, will play “Stars” as a bumper between bits or coming out of a commercial. It usually prompts Stern to ask who it is and when reminded (by Norris) he goes ballistic; maintaining that the band was difficult and then rattling off a laundry list of how they “screwed up” what should have been a great boost to their career. Through the years, Stern has convinced himself (or been convinced) that Hum didn’t even play that day and were thrown out of the studio.

Seeing the segment in its proper context, which originally aired on “E Entertainment” Television and is currently available through many online sources, it is nothing as Stern has described and really indicts Norris as an instigator who has had great influence in clouding a memory of what was an entertaining interview and great performance. In fact, it’s downright unfair to the band and their reputation.

The fact of the matter is the band did play and did a damn fine job of it. The only bump in the road seemingly involves Norris. The band and manager Chris Green are seen in negotiations with Norris and producer Gary Dellabate over the live set up. Norris tries to throw his weight around to get the band to run direct instead of bringing amps into the studio. Ultimately, a compromise is reached and the band is allowed to set up a reduced backline. Stern talks to Matt, Tim and Jeff (Brian was unavailable as his kit was set up in the hallway outside of the studio) and the interview comes off great. The band is engaging. Stern laughs at responses and is genuinely full of compliments after the performance, even closing with a “You guys play like mental patients. I love you guys.” Station manager Tom Chisano comes in after to say the song sounded great on the radio. Norris is seen bent under his console covering his ears throughout the performance.

Very disappointing.

The Grim Reaper Checks In . . .

Sen. Jesse Helms
1921-2008

I snorted him . . . he was all right (come on, who didn't see that comin'?!).

Still Feel Blue

RIP

Maralou Moore Shields

Weaverville - Maralou Shields, 49, of Weaverville, died Tuesday, June 24, 2008, unexpectedly at home. Mrs. Shields was born February 23, 1959, in Des Moines, Iowa. She lived in Buncombe County since 1997. Maralou was an artist and a jeweler.

She was preceded in death by a brother, Jerry Moore. She is survived by her husband, Steve Shields*; and son, Shane Shields, of Weaverville; a brother, Orville Moore, of Wisconsin.

Published: 2008-06-28


*Ack-Ack, Judy Gang, Steve Pride & His Blood Kin

The Grim Reaper checks in . . .

George Carlin
1937-2008

I snorted him . . . he was indecent, though not obscene.

Say it ain't so, Joe

...tip o' the hat to Jeff Evans.

The Grim Reaper checks in . . .

Jim Mckay
1921-2008

I snorted him . . . he’s all gone.

The Unstable Entertainment Molecule...

Plain White Tees . . . not quite

Corndolly/”1993 Revisited” t-shirts are still available . . . free shipping.

Double-sided with Corndolly logo on front and listing of event, bands, date and venue on the back. Nice quality.

Support the scene. Live the dream.

The Grim Reaper checks in . . .

Bo Diddley
1928 – 2008

I snorted him . . . “it didn’t put no figures in my checkbook.”

Oof...

...um, yes...yes, the fact you are now wearing those pants and those shoes would be, in my opinion, quite ironic.

"There's nothing ironic about being stuck in a traffic jam when you're late for something. Unless you're a town planner. If you were a town planner and you were on your way to a seminar of town planners at which you were giving a talk on how you solved the problem of traffic congestion in your area, couldn't get to it because you were stuck in a traffic jam, that'd be well ironic."

"Rain on your wedding day is ironic only if marrying a weatherman and he set the date."

"A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break, that's inconsiderate office management. A no-smoking sign in a cigarette factory - irony."

"Ten thousand spoons? How big is your sink, Alanis? What do you need this knife for - to stab the bloke who keeps leaving spoons all over your house?"

-- Ed Byrne

The Grim Reaper checks in . . .

Harvey Korman
1927-2008

I snorted him . . . he was Hedy.

Class of 1993 - OR - "Post your favorite internet video!"

Please follow THIS LINK for a fantastic interview with the brilliant and talented Rob Arroll who manages to put into perspective the incredible dynamic bands of the era possessed which made this time period historic both on the local and national level.

"How many bands can say they’ve been covered by The Replacements, toured with Husker Du and were the first to know of their break-up, or currently have a song featured in a Cadillac commercial? Talk to a member of The Vertebrats, The Bowery Boys or Hum and you’ll get an idea of how C-U bands have been and still are appreciated on a national level."

"I seriously doubt current students could conceive that The Replacements, Nirvana, Dinosaur, Jr., and countless other amazing bands once played over their heads (at Trito's Uptown on Sixth & Green) as they walk down Green Street."

Photos courtesy Gordon

...and click on the image to view the maelstrom of activity on the C-U Music Scene's most vital resource, OpeningBlands.com, the day following this amazing, once-in-a-lifetime event:

...follow THIS LINK for a passive-aggressive, shitty, half-assed reference to the show by the self-proclaimed current local scene (sic) guru.

The Long Road to May . . .

Corndolly’s recent practices have best been described as “fierce.” From the look of the new kit Angie Heaton will debut at The High Dive on Sunday, I think the reports are selling them short.

Sex Kitten, indeed!

We're Going To Go Ahead and Say, "Sunset"...

...because, like, it kinda feels like if we don't we are going to be on the receiving end of a serious ass-kicking.

Angie Heaton threatened to further kick our asses if we did not post a link to www.Parasol.com

An Historic Event for An Happy Music Scene

"Did you hear Don Gerard tried to do some crazy jump and fell down and broke his hip?"

"Actually, at that age typically it is the case the person's hip breaks first and then they fall."

Fatboy Slim is F#$%ing in Heaven

Norman Cook has retired his nom d’plume Fatboy Slim, a moniker he’s recorded under since 1997.

[editor's note: In all honesty, this post is worth skipping . . . it's just that the title's been burning a hole in my pocket and needed to be spent. That is all.]

The Grim Reaper checks in . . .

Robert Rauschenberg
1926-2008

I snorted him . . . he was a protean genius

NEW FEATURE! Liz Mozzocco's AUUUGGHHHHH!!!!

Conflicting Interest

Jay Ryan Poster

Liz Mozzocco Presents: Don Gerard's Spam eMail Folder

Hey Everyone,

My new acoustic duo plays every Wednesday at Senator’s Inn Pub
(Route 45/Neil St---directly South of Old Orchard Lanes)
7:30 to 11:30----
Hope to see you there! And if you're up for it stick around for the post-gig party in room 318G at the Inn!

Dawna Nelson

I Don't Care About The Thing From Across The Pond...

The most attractive, sexiest, funniest, charming, and impossible man!

The Grim Reaper checks in . . .

Albert Hofmann
1906-2008

I snorted him . . . whoa, what a trip. Logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead and the White Knight is talking backwards and the Red Queen's "off with her head!"

Does His Baloney Have A First Name?

Name That Tune, Mr. Spock!

1. This celebratory gathering occurs at my behest and I shall be lachrymose if it so befits me.

2. She chooses to purchase a terraced incline directed toward a postlife paradisiacal region.

3. I request that you prevent a large, glowing orb consisting of incandescent gas from committing fellatio upon my person.

4. The leather coverings now encasing my pedal extremities have been manufactured for the specific purpose of ambulatory forward motion.

5. Allow me the honour of portraying for you a miniaturized representation of a member of the family Ursidæ of the order Carnivora.

6. Adieu, jaundiced vehicular pathway consisting of blocks of baked clay.

7. You provide illumination for the period of time delimited by my nativity and the complete cessation of my metabolic functions.

8. And we will engage in much jubilant activity until such time as the male parent chooses to repossess her vehicle of motorized transport.

9. The deity had little or nothing to do with the manufacture of minuscule viridescent seed-bearing fruits.

10. Expresses deep affection toward yours truly in the manner of a hardened igneous object.

11. Please remove yourself from the immediate vicinity of my visible collection of minute water particles, Dr. McCoy.

(originally appeared in SPY Magazine)

Saints Be Praised . . . (click on image)

Don't Tell A Soul . . .

On 4/22, Rhino/Rykodisc reissued four albums by The Replacements that were originally released on Twin Tone Records. Used copies were available at Amazon.com by noon. Oh yeah, 17 years after they disbanded, Tommy and Paul are considering a reunion, if you call it that. Reports are session player Josh Freese will replace original drummer Chris Mars and an unnamed lead guitarist will replace the late Bob Stinson.

The Long Road to May . . .

Bob Rising is a greedy bastard. He’s abandoned the Fisher Price drum kit upon which he built Driver Has No Cash’s sound and reputation in favor of a sponsorship. “Highest dollar gets the gig,” Rising was reportedly heard to comment. Front runners include the Cannon-Ka-Boom Mini Junior kit and the TKO Complete Junior kit. Lead uke-slinger, Bill “Williwaw” Whitmer remains brand loyal. You can count on him to rock the “jellyizer” when the band reunites on 5/25 at The High Dive.

Meat Honcho Overload

Come on do what you did...

Today's Loser . . .

Nico Marquardt

The 13-year-old made international headlines recently when he supposedly spotted a NASA miscalculation on when a “killer” asteroid could/would collide with earth. NASA fired back today with, “This student's conclusion reportedly is based on the possibility of a collision with an artificial satellite during the asteroid's close approach in April 2029. However, the asteroid will not pass near the main belt of geosynchronous satellites in 2029, and the chance of a collision with a satellite is exceedingly remote. Therefore, consideration of this satellite collision scenario does not affect the current impact probability estimate for Apophis, which remains at 1 in 45,000.” Ouch, that stings.

Better luck next time, whiz kid!

Don Gerard Presents: Liz Mozzocco's Spam Mail Box

we caught you naked liz.mozzocco! check the video

"oh noes!" -- Liz Mozzocco, radio personality/amateur nudist

New Feature: Flamboyant Korean Drummer Mondays!

Korean Drummer Rocks Out - Watch more free videos

Graphic Content Thursday

see more funny graphs

...a tip of the hat to Miss Andi.

Liz Mozzocco Presents: Don Gerard's Spam Folder

Slimmer + impotent = Popular?

The Long Road to May . . .

Menthol is reeling after receiving their second “cease and desist” letter in as many decades.

This time a leader in the tobacco industry has taken umbrage with their moniker. Back in the early 1990’s, the group came together as “Mother”. After interest from the majors, it was learned that “Mother” was a pretty common band name (and previously trademarked). Changing their name to Menthol for their Capitol Records debut, the band thought they were in the clear. No dice. All these years later, ole papa smoke, the maker of the nation’s leading menthol flavored cancer stick, has come calling – threatening to take all that he is owed.

Left with little choice, the band has had to change their name once again. Come see "The Jackson 5" at The High Dive on 5/25.

The Grim Reaper Checks In . . .

Charlton Heston
1923-2008

I snorted him . . . It's people. It is made out of people. They're making our blow out of people. Next thing they'll be breeding us like cattle for blow. You've gotta tell them. You've gotta tell them!

Ramones Will Not Play Sun City (Despite Never Being Asked To Do So)

“We felt slapped, hard, in the face,” Groff says of Elsinore's nomination as “Best Folk/Americana Band” this year, noting that the group's sound has evolved and “it was evident that no one (at WPGU/Local Music Awards) knew our band enough to know where to stick us.”

CUMS-BS has never actually heard Elsinore (neither the "old" folky-Americana-y Elsinore nor the new-and-improved "Elsinore2: Electric Bugaloo"), however, has a pretty good idea of where they can stick it.

In other news: CUMS-BS is holding open auditions for its own new band, "The Self-Righteous Brothers"...purely coincidental, we assure you.

I want you to want . . . more

Today's Loser . . .

Fans of Music

The New Kids on the Block announced today they are officially reuniting for a tour and new album. The debacle kicks off May 16 at New York’s Rockefeller Plaza.